Wildlife, Wildlife and More

A little reflection on the wildlife we have encountered:

So far we have been spoilt with a myriad of exoctic creatures, creepy crawlies, big mother flying thingies and a few cutie furry type animals. As you can tell David Attenbourough has nothing to worry about on the natural world narritive front. Obvouisly we encountered loads of things in the jungle but we have also had a few surprises on the way.

In Puerto Lopez the first impression was the amount of vultures there are. They are kind of menacing in a way, but remind you more of big bruising bouncers standing in the background waiting for some trouble to kick off in order to seize their chance to pick the bones of the loser. There are hundreds of them. Walking along the beach one morning we passed a fisherman who had returned from his nights fishing with his boat up on the beach, beside a beach-hut like structure. The vultures were lined up all along the boat side and all along the roof of the hut, there must have been about 50 of them. They just stood there, waiting - for what I dont know, but I had the creepy feeling that we had slipped into Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, it was a bit spooky.

The beach in PL is really wide and has potential to be gorgeous: when walking along for the first time we were aware that the sand was all of a ripple a few yards in front. Crabs. Thousands of them all scurrying backwards and forwards, some as small as an inch wide up to some that are 5-6 inches and varying in colours from sandy to bright red: as you approach they hurtle towards their holes, in the sand, then poise with a couple of legs in the hole until they deem that you are too close then plop! they disappear. We had great fun chasing them, but never even got close.















In the mornings when the fisherman are unloading their haul there is a an orchestra of screaming squawking birds trying their luck as the poor fisherman who has drawn the short straw to unload fish, from the boat to a waiting truck, has to run the gauntlet of diving birds trying to pinch the fish from his basket. I have no idea what these birds are but they have a wingspan of at least 7 foot. Meanwhile in a scene reminiscent to the pushing shoving screaming hordes at day one of the Harrods January sale, around the boat are 30 or 40 Pelicans all vying for the best position in case a fish may drop their way. The sight was really amazing and I´m full of admiration for the fisherman who have to brave that onslaught every day.

In PL we stayed for a few nights in a cabina, which is basically a wooden hut. We returned home late one night, after a few Du Bonnet and lemonades, and had the foresight of taking a torch with us, as we had nearly broken our necks the night before half drunkenly trying to find our hut in the pitch black gardens of its location. As we turned a corner Ad shone his light right on to this big hairy thing!! It frightened the bleeding life out of us. Ad thought it was a pig and I thought it was a giant rat!!! It wasn´t scared and just tottered under a bush. Full of bravado we shone the torch in the bush and the thing just looked back at us then came out right up to us. I now know that it was a Paca, about the size of a medium-sizes dog, but fat like a piggie, brown with white stripes down it´s sides. I so wish I had my camera there as it walked straight past our legs.
















In the middle of Guayaquil is Parque Simon Bolivar. Apart from the imposing statue of Snr Bolivar, the main attraction is the resident Iguanas. Loads of the big mothers!! They wander round with a smug look on their faces, basking in the sun and I believe secretly enjoying the attention from all of the parks visitors. Some of them must be about 5 feet long from nose to tip of tail and meet your eye with a steely determination. One soon learns not to stand under the trees too long as sooner or later one will be rewarded with a nice Iguana piss shower. Why they dont leave the park is a mystery, probably because they have all their needs attended to and enjoy basking in the limelight of flashing cameras and videotapes. Their prehistoric features and dinosaur like appearance made me feel like a giant walking through Jurassic Park.

Newsflash!!! We went to a little zoo in Guayaquil and Adrian was mugged!!!...........by a squirrel!! As we are sauntering around, this cutsie little squirrel came running over to us. Aaaaah, we thought as we bent down to get a closer look. Then the little sod run up Adrian's bare leg and started chewing his leg hairs. Ad, in a very manly and butch way obviously, tried to get the squirrel off ..but he weren't having none off it. Ad gets him off and then runs away, along the path, the squirrel pursues, Ad ducks and weaves but the the squirrel is quicker... he's back on the leg again.. with a flick the squirrel is caught off balance and releases his grip ... Ad sees his chance and runs the other way.. the squirrel recovers and gives chase again.. I'm laughing... Ad is running... the squirrel is catching up.... a crowd of Ecuadorians are shrieking with laughter at the gringo being attacked by a squirrel....the squirrel sees a chance and launches himself at the leg.. mindful that the creature may disappear up his shorts, Ad stops to cut off the entrance to the forbidden nuts... the squirrel is magnanimous in victory and after a couple of minutes rest on the gringo leg sees a more enticing Ecuadorian one to chase... he's off ... leaving Ad worried he might have rabies!!!

Overall we have seen some great wildlife... parrots, monkeys, pelicans, frogs, paca, dolphins, tarantulas, cockroaches, crabs ... I wish I knew more about what I'm seeing but so far it has been really interesting, but there are still a few things on the list that we would love to see... Anaconda, giant anteater and armadillos to name but three...

Cuenca & Puerto Lopez

Up early for a six hour bus ride to Cuenca. The coach driver is a complete maniac going around twisty windy mountain hugging dirt tracks at about 70mph. We are the only gringos on the bus but even the locals are nervous, at one point the whole bus was screaming "slower, slower!!" but the driver just ignored us all and carried on at breakneck speed;one woman gave him a right ear-full, told him to pull over and got off the bus in the middle of nowhere. He didn't care.

We stop off at restaurant/petrol station for a comfort break and I go to relieve my desperately over filled bladder. On my way out of the restaurant there is an enormous black bird in the doorway...it's a vulture!!!!! They are one hell of an ugly mother of a bird and look and walk just like those vultures from the Jungle Book Disney film. Despite their perceived reputation, our bird - we called him Boris - is really quite friendly and not frightened at all (maybe he can see a potential meal in us both!!).

Cuenca is lovely. After the hustle and bustle, grime and dirt of Quito, the simplicity of Baños and the down right ugliness of Riobamba, Cuenca is a little haven of colonial architecture, cobbled streets and surprisingly fashionable shops. We like it straight away. We spend the next couple of days wandering the streets, eating well and having a few sweet sherrys. We also find our cheapest lunch to date $1.25 for 2 courses, and it was delicious. The cafe is situated within a small complex that is run by and for women. There are posters regarding domestic violence and empowering images. Surprisingly it's a man that serves us - who is really sweet and sits down to chat about the work they do for single mothers and women pregnant out of wedlock. Ecuador is a macho Latin American country and I'm sure that women have a long way to go to achieve equal status, so its really good to see such a worthwhile project doing what it can. Viva las mujeres!!

There has been another delay with the replacement cameras. It could be another week. This is shit!! Oh well never mind. We decide to go to the coast for a few days.

To get to the coast we have to get a bus to Guayaquil and then change to go onto Puerta Lopez. The first leg takes about 5 hours and we think that the second part should be about 1 1/2 hours: unfortunately we read the book wrong and it eventually takes another 4 hours. We're sitting right at the front of the bus and it's stopping whenever someone hails it down. The bus is chockerbloc and I spend half the journey with a standing woman's breasts squidging into my head and the other half with man's crotch resting on my shoulder. Oh well, you have to take your pleasure where you can I suppose.

We arrive in Puerta Lopez at night. It's warm!!! Yipeee!

In the morning we wake up to the full glory of Puerta Lopez. The town is a bit of a dump and whilst the beach is probably about 2km long and the sea has the potential of being a gorgeous turquoise, if the sun was out, unfortunately the sand is disfigured by loads of discarded rubbish, plastic bottles and other shit that people have left behind. Over the next 3 days we relax on the beach, go swimming, take walks in the nearby national park, eat, drink and try not to feel that we are just wasting time waiting for the package to be delivered. Overall PL is a good relaxing time, the weather is good - we both get sun burnt even though the sun was hidden behind thick cloud - we have some really good sea food, the people are really friendly and despite the town looking like a building site, it was just what we needed.

We hear that the package is now in Guayaquil and waiting to clear customs. Off to Guayaquil!!!!!!!

The Return To Baños

Monday morning and we make a quick exit from Riobamba. We plan to go back to Baños to enjoy the activities that we didn't participate in or get around to last week. The weather when we arrive is gorgeous and our spirits are really lifted. We go for a cheap lunch - $1.75 for 2 courses - and by the time we finish it's pissing down with rain again!!! The last week has been a real trial, we are in one of the most beautiful surroundings that you could wish to be but the weather is so unpredictable, cloudy and gloomy that it is affecting our moods. We are both suffering Seasonal Adjustment Disorder. We are in a downward spiral. We go back to our hostal and the air is full of tension. Ad is getting really pissed off that we are not having the time that we had hoped we would have. We sit down to chat. There are two ways forward; we can either wallow in our own shit and keep going further downhill or we give ourselves a kick up the arse and appreciate where we are and take enjoyment from the very fact that we are in a fantastic country, surrounded by unbelievable scenery (even if we can't see it all the time) and that this vacation whilst not being perfect every day has still given us so many brilliant times and memories already and we will have many more to come. Our little pep talk lifts us up and we decide to take a hike up one of the surrounding hills in the hope of seeing the massive volcano that should dominate the skyline but as yet has eluded us.

The hike is quite easy as they have paved the way and built steps up to the vista. However after 650 steps my legs are bleeding killing me, I'm starting to think that I'm not very fit. However three quarters of the way up we are rewarded with a glimpse of the volcano. Whilst still very cloudy this colossal mountain slowly reveals its true humongousness - as I said before this volcano is still active with smoke still pouring from the crater after it's last eruption in 2006 - although we don't actually see this. As you probably know Ad is a complete volcano addict and the sight that we see jolts us both into the realisation that we cannot just sit around moping we have to get out and about in order to reap the rewards of spectacular sights and experiences. Our mood soars. We have turned a corner. Hooray!!

Next morning we are up at 6.30am. We go to to the local attraction which Baños is named after - the outdoor thermal baths. The baths have three pools, we go to the first one and dip a foot in; it is so hot that we have to make a rapid exit. We go to the second one and that one is freezing cold, fed from a massive waterfall that is just outside the establishment. The third one is just right, nice and warm like a good relaxing bath. We get in feeling a bit like Goldilocks after finding the perfect porridge. The colour of the water looks like every one in the town has taken a piss in it, but we are assured that it's this colour due to the amount of minerals and other sciencey type stuff that the water contains. We spend a good hour going between pools; once you have dipped into the freezing pool the extra hot chilly sauce one doesn't feel so extreme, but even so you can't spend to much time in there as I'm sure you'd end up with feet like Princess Margaret's after her little bathing accident. As we leave we both feel really invigorated, clean and rejuvenated.

After breakfast we decide to go see some of the surrounding countryside which is interspersed with loads of waterfalls. They are all a long way out of town so getting there involves hiring some sort of transport. All around the town are shops with quad-bikes, buggies and bicycles. Ad wants to get a buggy but I'm ,as usual, scared and come up with a million reasons why they are dangerous and how we are bound to be squidged by a huge lorry and if we are how it would be his fault!! However he's not silly my Adrian: he understands what I'm saying and then suggests that we should get bicycles!! Crafty sod, he knows that I'm more scared of cycling on a busy main road than I am of getting in a buggy. I capitulate and we hire a buggy for three hours.

We set off and I'm surprised by how comfortable they are and how not too scary they seem to be; all other traffic, when over taking, give us a wide berth and I'm starting to think that this will be quite pleasant. Then we come to a tunnel. It's pitch black with no lights or road marking. We don't know where the buggy's light are and we can't see a fucking thing. I'm having a heart attack. It´s like someone has put a bag over our heads, we can see nothing. I'm panicking and Ad is desperately feeling around the dash board to find the light switch. Fortunately a car pulls up behind us with his lights full on and we can see enough to navigate our way out of the tunnel. We quickly look at the dashboard and find the lights, another tunnel is coming up! We plunge into the darkness and the buggy lights illuminate the tunnel about as good as a one watt bulb in the Albert Hall. Luckily there are cats-eyes in this tunnel so we can just about make out where the road is as a huge lorry thunders past over-taking us: my pants are filling up. On the other side we pull over and check out the buggy lights - we only had them on half beam. We set off and another tunnel approaches. With full beam on we should be ok. Full beam, my arse; the lights are about as good as having a couple of glow worms stuck to the front of your car!!! I just close my eyes and hope we'll pull through this.

We arrive at the first point of call, obviously fully relaxed and refreshed from our tranquil journey. We have a quick coffee and I ask for some oxygen and Prosac to calm me down. We have a 20 minute hike to the first waterfall. The going is quite steep and a bit slippery. Ad worries (or is it wishes?) that I'm going to slip and break my neck, but although a bit puffed out we arrive at the bottom safe and sound. We can hear the roar of the waterfall but can't see it. We turn a corner and the roar becomes louder as it suddenly appears. It is magnificent, at least 150 foot, cascading vertically downwards into a boulder bordered pool before churning away into the river below. Why are waterfalls so fascinating? The ever changing patterns and shapes that the water makes and the constant-ness of the 100's of gallons that continually pour over the edge have a certain beauty that is hard to define but certainly make you feel alive and happy. We is well pleased man!!

We get back to the buggy and drive off to the second waterfall. This again takes a 20 minute hike from the car park although this time a bit easier on the old legs. When we arrive at the bottom again we can hear the waterfall but not see it. To get a view you have to cross a rickety old wooden rope bridge that is suspended 50 foot over a crashing, smashing, violent river below. My valve goes again as we edge our way out onto the bridge. I get a quick glimpse of the cascade before I clamber back to safer ground but again the sight is fantastic - so much energy, so much power and so much destructive potential. We head home.

We have both had the best day since the robbery. We are feeling great, and despite another near death experience with the tunnels we have really enjoyed the whole day.

In the morning we leave for Cuenca: hopefully to meet the camera delivery!!!

Riobamba, Chimborazo & El Nariz del Diablo

Just a quick update on the camera/replacement situation. It's been a right nightmare for Ad and his mum. We just found out this morning that despite getting all the stuff over to Fedex on Friday they had lost it!!!!! Thankfully it's now been found and being treated as priority. Hopefully we should receive it on Thursday or Friday. We can then finally move on.

I should maybe say a few words about Baños as although we left there last Friday, today we have decided to come back here for a further few days in order to enjoy it properly. It's a gorgeous little town surrounded by huge vertical hills and dominated by a massive volcano which is still active - last erupting in 2006. It´s one of those places where ACTIVITY and ADVENTURE is splashed everywhere, whitewater rafting, quad-biking, canyoning and trips up to the volcano. Unfortunately when we were here before every morning was taken up by phone calls and internet stuff and we only managed a couple of walks up to some waterfalls. Waterfall!!! That brings me to another subject. The weather is shit!!! So unpredictable and changeable. I have never had to put on and take off so many layers in the course of an hour. Rain, cold then sun then more rain and just for good luck and good ole downpour. However it seems to work in cycles with the morning good, the afternoons rubbish and the evenings brightening up.



I shall go back to last Friday when we left Baños.....

Friday Afternoon we arrive in Riobamba. The guide books paint it as a lovely little town with colonial style architecture and quaint oldy worldiness. In reality it´s quite a drab nondescript place where it rains all the time. Eeeeeek!!! We found a hostal in a guide book that looked really good. It said that it had a Llama and a couple of parrots in the garden area which the rooms all surrounded. Wrong!!! No Llama, no parrots, about 2 km from anywhere and our room was - how can one say - reminded me of somewhere that a goblin may live, without the charm or class. We affectionately called it The Hovel.

We decide to make the most of our time here and book an excursion up to Chimborazo Volcano - yes i know another Volcano, place is full of them!! We arrive early the next morning at the tour operator office as we have signed up to mountain bike down the side of this massive mountain. What the hell I´m doing being talked into this I don't know - I haven't ridden a bike for 30 years, I´m secretly hoping they have one with stabilisers or three wheels. No such luck. We check out the bikes and find ones that fit - if that's the right terminology. I´m given one with a razor blade for a seat... ooooh dear! Anyway we have a practise ride up the road. This is easy I think, until I try to turn around and hit a wall (luckily no one has seen me and I peddle back full of fear for later on).

We set off in a van that is going to take us up to the volcano to a height of 4800 metres, after which we have to walk to another 200 metre height to the refugio - sound familiar? When we arrive the weather is appalling. Visibility is down to a couple of hundred foot. We make the ascent and much to my surprise, whilst it wasn't easy, I make it to the stop-off in pretty good time and shape. The now customary celebratory cigarettes are broken out. Unfortunately we can't see the volcano at all and it all feels a bit of a wash out. We go into the refugio and they have hot drinks on offer. We plump for coca-tea!! We are expecting a cup full of mashed up leaves but are disappointed to find that coca tea comes in teabags!!!

When we come down the weather has worsened, raining, snowing and visibility down to a few yards. We can see nothing but our surrounding space. The guide asks us whether we want to cycle down. Not on your Nelly!! I can hardly see to walk let alone cycle. I could just see me going over the edge. We ask the guide to drive us further down the volcano and see whether the conditions improve. Half way down the visibility becomes greater and we mount up. We have all the togs on, so much so that it's difficult to cock your leg over the seat. We set off. Ad is like a duck to water, I´m like some freak of a circus act trying to keep my balance.

The descent is quite steep. I´m ok when going straight but turning corners, balancing and braking is proving somewhat of a challenge - never really been good at multi-tasking. All the others in the group whizz off and I´m left at the back like a three year old on a tricycle trying to keep up with the bigger boys.

It all goes well in the end despite nearly going over a hedge. We have a 30km ride ahead. It starts off well and we are able to see the beautiful undulating countryside which has some domesticated Llamas roaming around and a huge herd (?) of Vicuñas - much smaller than their bigger cousins and much more elegant and cute. Apparently Vicuña wool is extremely expensive as they can't be kept in captivity - too sensitive or something! But they are really gorgeous.

We ride on for a few kilometres more and then the heavens open, we get absolutely drenched and we both have the right hump by the time we get back to Riobamba. More rain when we get back. It´s starting to feel as if everything is against us. Even the weather. We are in serious need of cheering up. We're now toying with the idea of missing out the Andean countries altogether, as every time we try to do something the weather is ruining it!.

Sunday and we have booked tickets to go on a beautiful scenic train ride called the Nariz D'el Diablo - the Devil's Nose - not sure why they call it that but it takes you out of Riobamba on a 5 hour journey through stunning countryside, mountains and scenery. The train is made up of 5 carriages, 4 of which are freight carriages and 1 for passengers inside. Most of the people taking this journey travel on top of the freight carriage roofs!!! I put my foot down with a firm hand!! There is no way after sitting on a razor blade for 2 hours the previous day that I am going to subject my Farmer Giles to 5 hours of sitting on a thin cushion on a corrugated iron roof!!! I don´t think so.

The journey is fantastic. The Ecuadorian country-side is exquisitely beautiful; rolling mountains, luscious green hills, snow capped volcanoes, deep cavernous gorges and all along the way children running after us waving, smiling and catching sweets that the passengers throw to them. I had my misgivings about the sweet throwing, but then I don't suppose a $5 WH Smith voucher will somehow have the same appeal. We get to the point of the Nariz D'el Diablo. The train is clinging to the side of this mountain with at least a 300 foot drop to one side. The railway´s have a unique and extremely clever way of getting down the mountain - it zig zags down!! The train makes a series of forward and backward manoeuvres down the zig zaging track that in effect allows the train to vertically descend the mountain -genius!!!

The weather is beautiful all the way and despite not sitting on the train top Ad finds a spot on the back of our carriage, outside, where he sits dangling his legs over the side and probably has the best views of anyone on the train. We really have a great day and our spirits are rising: until we get back to Riobamba.

It is absolutely chucking it down. We go out to eat and get drenched and to top it off everywhere is closed, because it's Sunday, except a couple of Kentucky Fried styley places and a pizza place. It´s time to leave Riobamba!!!

Baños and Robbery

Puta Madre!!! Fucking bastards!!! We have been robbed!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it. We have had such a great time so far and now this happens.

We caught a bus from Quito heading towards Baños. After our confrontation with the racist woman on the way to Cotopaxi we decided to sit near the back of the bus. Our bags were on the floor in front of us. We were both knackered, we´ve been up since 4 in the morning and we were happy that we were back in civilisation and looking forward to a few days R n R.

About 6 young lads got on the bus and sat directly behind us, behind us and to the other side and finally two on the back seat. I remember thinking at the time that I wasn´t comfortable with this lot behind me, but dismissed the thought straight away.

At no time did we both go to sleep, but we were dosing with our eyes closed. The bus is incredibly noisey, they have a film showing, with the sound blasting out all over the bus, and the roads are quite bumpy and twisty, so the roar of the bus engine added to the mash of noise.

The lads behind us got off. About an hour later I wondered what the time was and went into my bag to retrieve my mobile. I couldn´t find it. After searching for a few minutes the sudden realisation that we may have been robbed smacked us in the face. Ad scrambled for his bag, which was still by his feet, and let out a cry of agony as he discovered that both his cameras had been taken. We both felt sick, but instantly recognised that they must have hooked our bags from under the seat behind us and pilfered the stuff. The fuckers were clever. They covered all the seats behind us so that anyone getting on the bus wouldn't disturb or discover them.

We are both feeling stupid, vulnerable and naive. It's hard not to blame yourself and Ad is having a hard time not doing that. But we are the victims here, to place any blame on us necessarily excuses, even if only slightly, the perpetrators of this crime. Of course we will learn from the experience but I refuse to accept any fault or blame on our part!!!!

We arrive in Baños and after checking in to our hostal go to the local police station. The Commissario is really friendly and helpful and thankfully can speak good English. We receive a crime sheet and then Ad has to begin the tortuous process of making an insurance claim and arranging for replacement cameras and other bits to be sent out to us.

The next few days are spent arranging things... it's all so long winded and complicated when you don't have your own phone or fax or computer. Its gonna take over a week for replacements to reach us and as I write that could still be a conservative estimate. Luckily Ad had the foresight of anticipating that this may happen and had already left all the paper work, receipts etc with his mum, who is sorting things for us back at home. Thank you Leigh!!!!

As you can imagine the past few days have not been the best. We haven´t really done anything exciting as we want all this business sorted first. We have both gone through some depressed moments and it's hard not to become jaded and let this incident cast a gloomy shadow over the trip so far. Hopefully things should be sorted in the next day or so and we are both of the opinion that we need to move on from Baños and try to start to enjoy ourselves again. We have both been supportive of each other and I'm glad that we both have each other to pick the other up in times of gloominess.

The Amazon Basin

On Friday, after one night spent in Quito, we leave for our excursion into the Amazon. We are both shitting ourselves. I can´t stand moths or cockroaches to the point that I feel sick and dizzy even thinking about them. Ad is putting on a brave face but I know he is as apprehensive as I am and I´m sure that if either of us had said they had changed their minds and didn't want to go, then the other would have sighed a big sigh of relief. But neither of us did and we set off on another adventure.



A half hour flight from Quito and we arrive in Largo Agrio in the North East Oriente region of Ecuador. This is the beginning of the vast Amazon jungle. As we disembark the heat and humidity hit us like a frying pan in the face. Blimey its hot. We were freezing our nuts off two days previous!! As we approach the tiny airport terminal we can both hear over the roar of the plane engines thousands of cheeping birds. How fantastic we thought, our first taste of jungle inhabitants. Until we get into the terminal and realise that the beautiful cacophony of singing parrots, toucans and tropical birdies is really 200 boxes cram packed with baby chicks waiting to be transported back to Quito!!!!!














We are staying at the Samona Lodge. To get there we take a 2 hour coach ride from the airport and then transfer to a motorised canoe for a further 2 hours up river into primary jungle. The heat is sweltering and humidity almost suffocating, but it´s good to be warm. We meet up with the rest of the people on our trip and head off up river. We have a guide who is an expert on all things jungle who will be with us over the next few days pointing out animals, birds, plants etc. A few minutes into our journey and the canoe slows down and manoeuvres under the branches off a overhanging tree. Nazier, the guide, points out a boa constrictor curled up having a nap about 10 feet away. We all feel excited at our first animal sighting.

After 2 hours of a bum-numbing but beautiful ride along the river we arrive at our lodge. The accommodation is basic. No electricity, and wooden huts as our rooms. Candles are used after dark and there are plenty of holes, gaps and spaces for the insects to invade our rooms after night fall!!

We all eat together in a communal hut and then head out into the jungle for an hours night walk.

Just past the camp Nazier spots a little frog perched on a branch and we all gather round to take photos. As Nazier explains about this amphibian one of our group nonchalantly points out to him that he has a huge tarantula crawling up his wellington boot!!!! Three of us fainted, one person started to cry and two run off screaming into the jungle never to be seen again - not really but we were all a bit jittery, looking down apprehensively at our own boots!!!

We carry on and see some great spiders, frogs and a moth that was the size of a dinner plate - no joke. Although the walk was scary it was really exhilarating and we all came back full of excitement. Back at the communal hut Nazier points out a tarantula that lives in the eaves of the kitchen hut. The spider stays way up in the roof during the day but creeps down looking for food at night time. Ten minutes later and we spot another huge bird-eating tarantula walking along a beam just above our heads. They are really fantastic creatures, so huge but fascinating in the way that their big hairy legs move.

Sitting around chatting and having a few beers we soon realise that this is no Disney-style theme park. A girl who has been here for a few days informs us that the worst thing is the bugs in the rooms at night and her best advice would be to get drunk before going to bed. Gulp!!! We venture to our room with a torch. The room is crawling with cockroaches and things that I have no idea what they are and never want to see again. I am now starting to hyper-ventilate and Ad is looking a bit green. Luckily we had already put all our clothes and stuff under the mosquito net and tucked them under the mattresses. Ad, my hero, tells me to leave the room and go back for another drink. In my absence he sprays loads of 100% deet (insect repellent) over the whole room, which he repeats another twice during the evening. When we retire the room is bug free!!! Phew!!

In the morning we are woken by the lodge's resident monkey, Pancho. He is only about 8 months old and was rescued from the jungle after his mother had probably been killed for bush meat. He is so cute!! And so naughty! He is into everything, swinging around the bed and shower curtain and basically monkeying around. He takes a shine to us both and climbs up my arm to sit on my shoulder holding on with one hand on my hair and his tail wrapped around my neck. What a way to be woken up!!!

We take another trek through the jungle and Nazier again points out all the interesting creepy crawlies. flora and fauna. The mosquitoes are having a field day and I swear I saw a few with napkins tied round their necks and knives and forks in their hands. Some of us are bitten more than others and I have no bites at all: in an odd way I'm a bit annoyed... what's wrong with my blood!! Cheek.

In the evening we go fishing for piranhas, we dangle chunks of meat of bamboo rods and wiggle the bait in the river, wait for a bite and quickly jerk the pole out of the water. Ad catches one straight away but then you have to unhook the wriggly little blighters and throw them back - easier said than done with a fish that has razor sharp teeth that can bite through your fingers!!! I have no luck, thankfully, and soon get bored of this activity. Later we go and watch the sunset over a huge lake and the jungle canopy, although again this was a bit boring. Then we head off in search of Caiman. There are supposed to be thousands of these crocs around but we just end up staring into shallow pools convinced that every fallen tree trunk is a 25 foot monster waiting to eat us!!

Night has drawn in and we undergo another insect monster infested, sweaty, palpitation inducing evening. On going to bed I have taken to jumping quickly under the mossie net, fully clothed and undressing under it´s protection. All my clothes, shoes and everything is in the bed with me.... it's starting to stink!!

Or final day in the jungle and we wake up to little Pancho in our room again. We want to take him home with us, then he pisses all over the floor - but he is still so cute.

We set off on another jungle walk and the heavens open in a torrential down-pour, well it isn't called the rain forest for nothing. Today's trek is really good; lots of climbing over things and wading through streams and up to our knees in mud and shit. We see lots of wildlife, monkeys, parrots, tortoises and some great poisonous frogs with hallucinogenic qualities. After eating 7 I´m feeling a bit weird and have to wash them down with the wee from female stick-insect. Am now feeling fine.

Next stop is a visit to a local Shaman. It's all a bit staged but he is a genuine medicine man that locals come to see. Apparently when he has patients he downs some hallucinogenic mixture that sends him off his tits and he can then properly diagnose your problems. Sounds like a great job to me. The old man is dressed up in his ceremonial garb with a feather stuck through his nose. Why it doesn't tickle and make him sneeze is a mystery to me. Anyway he waves some leaves at us sings a little ditty, dances around a bit and blesses us all with good luck. ( Considering what happens in the next few days you´ll forgive me if I'm a little cynical as to whether this has actually worked).

That evening we spent a lovely time all round the table in the communal hut. The beer is flowing and our group has really bonded over the past few days. We have a great evening telling stories and fall into our cockroach infested bedrooms quite early as we have to leave at 4.30 am to travel via canoe, coach, plane, taxi and bus to our next destination - Baños.

Cotopaxi National Park

On Tueday we left Quito to go to Cotopaxi National Park. On embarking the bus I had the fortunate pleasure of being sat next to a lovely racist who seemed to be having a particularly bad day. For some reason she seemed to take exception to the fact that she was sitting next to a foreigner and from what I could gather thought that Adrian and I should sit on the roof, or at the very least at the back of the bus. However when I tried to move seats she nigh-on put me in a head lock and shoved me backdown - I think we rather bonded after that as she continued to mutter under her breath for the rest of the journey and shout " un dollar" several times in my face when the conductor came to collect the fares - oh I love meeting new people!

The bus dropped us off in the small town of Machachi which is the gateway to the Parque about another 20Km away. To get to where we were staying you have to hail down a passing pick up truck and strike a deal for them to take you onwards. Despite our reservation on doing this , it all went smoothly and we were transported to Tambopaxi Lodge, the only accomodation within the Parque itself. The Lodge is built to be sympathetic to its surroundings - all wood and thatched roof styley.

The Parque is beautifully barren and desolate with rolling hills punctuated by grazing cows, wild horses and a few llamas!! The main reason to visit the parque is the outstanding Cotapaxi volcano which stands at almost 6000 metres, perfectly conical shaped and snow capped, it is breath takingly beautiful and spectacular. After a quick three course lunch we booted up and headed out into the parque... the feeling of isolation was fantastic... there are no roads.. just a few dirt tracks leading to the volcano and other points of beauty. We trekked for an hour and a half to the foot of the volcano and around to a laguna. Whilst the dominating presence of the volcano loomed before us unfortunately the weather was really grey, rainy and very cloudy which tantalisingly cloaked and revealed various parts of the volcano, tormenting and teasing us by not exposing her full pulchritudinous majesty. However we still managed to take some great moody photographs and then headed back to the lodge.

We plumped for the cheaper options and booked to stay in a dorm type room - four sharing. Now, although I haven´t stayed in any dormitories before, I was under the impression that the norm would be either single or bunk beds, so imagine my unbridled delight when we were shown to a room that had one single bed and an enormous bed in which 3 people were to sleep.

With no TV and no other guests staying here, Ad obviously got fed up rather quickly with my inane witterings and we both retired to bed at about 9pm. In the morning we arose early had a good hearty breakfast and decided to set out to climb part way up the volcano. The Lodge itself is approximately an hour and a half walk from Cotopaxi's base and then there is a steady 30 degree inclined road/dirttrack that climbs to 4500 metres to a ´carpark´ area which is another 2 hours walk; onwards from there is a refugio where those that are going to climb to the peak stay over night before setting off for the top in the early hours of the morning: our plan was to get as far as the refugio, which is at 4800 metres above sea level.

The first part of the walk was fine and we reached the base of the volcano in good time. However once we started up the dirt track the lack of oxygen and exertion that was needed to walk continuously uphill it soon become obvious that this was not gonna be easy. We hoped that a passing truck would stop and pick us up and take us to the ´carpark´ however after thumbing a few rarely seen trucks, without success, it looked like we were gonna to have to walk the whole way. To be honest I was knackered and the thought of another 2-3 hours of ardous walking ( that's not even counting the time it was gonna take us to walk all the way back) was soon losing its appeal. Fortunately on about the fourth try a pick up truck stopped to give us alift!!! Yihaaaaa I thought, we are now gonna have it nice and easy: how wrong can one be?

At the carpark it was bitterly cold, snowing and a wind that chilled you straight to the bone. We now had to make the climb to the refugio. We followed other people up this 45 degree slope leading towards our destination. It was difficult to breathe. We plodded on. I couldn´t talk as it was too much of an effort. My legs felt like lead weights. This climb should have taken about half hour. After about 15 minutes I was struggling. I was light headed and I just couldn´t get my breath. Ad was having a hard time but was coping alot better. We plodded on further. I had to stop every 15 steps. My legs just wouldn't work through lack of oxygen. Another ten minutes and i was absolutely exhausted. We were only half way. I now had to stop for a few minutes every 10 steps. I'm now questioning why we are doing this. Plod on. Stopping every five steps. I feel sick and have to lie down. Ad is encouraging me to keep going. I just want to go home. I pick myself up and carry on. Every single step is an effort. The refugio is in sight. I can´t fucking breathe. Am I dying? I can´t cope. Stupid trek. Stupid 20 a day habit for the past 25 years!! One step at a time. Now i think I am dying. I see a light before me. It's the baby Jesus! He looks down on me with a serene smile. I raise a hand towards him and he says unto me " so who´s the cunt now then!! Take that for your rudeness!!" Bastard!

We finally made it to the refugio, but i have to say that it is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. We stopped and had a well earned cup of hot chocolate and a celebratory cigarette. Just what my lungs needed!

The views around the volcano were obscured by clouds, which was disappointing to say the least. We had nearly killed ourselves and we could only see a hundred yards in front of us. I wanted my money back! even though we hadn´t paid anything. What a swizz. Anyway on chatting to another couple we discovered that we had ascended up the hard way and just around the other side of the volcano was a much easier route that zig-zagged upwards. Bollocks! Anyway we decided to take the easier route down and as we turned a corner the clouds started to dissapate and the full glory of the awesome glaciers clinging to the sides were revealed. They were magnificent, colossal and beautiful. My near death experience was soon forgotten and made worthwhile just to glimpse this natural wonder. Ad took some fantastic photographs and our return journey was made all the easier by the fact that it had been made worthwhile.

We trekked all the way down the volcano and all the way to the lodge. We must have been walking for at least 7 hours. Our feet and legs were killing us, a recurring theme on this trip so far.

That evening we had our dinner and went outside for a fag. The clouds had all disappeared and the night sky was just unbelievably amazing. We have never seen so many stars so bright. Possible because of our altitude we could even make out nebulas ( don´t ask me what they are Ad told me about them). Again Ad took some amazing photos that look like they have been taken by an electronic telescope. This was really one of the highlight of Cotopaxi park. Awesome, beautiful and extremely humbling.

The next morning we arose to a gorgeous cloud free morning that revealed the true majesty of Cotopaxi volcano. This fantastic conical shaped snowcapped mountain against a clear blue sky was what we had been waiting to see. Pictures were taken and we left the National Park content, satisfied and proud of our achievements.

Quito

Hello!! After months of planning and saving, denying ourselves the few luxuries that one usually etches out of the pittance our slave-wages deems sufficient to survive on, we have finally arrived in Ecuador. Our flights were good and we even had the added bonus that our luggage received a full extra days travel entitlement at no extra cost - finally catching up with us the day after we arrived.

Quito is beautiful, surrounded by mountains and sprawling out as far as the eye can see, which with my myopia isn´t too far, but I´m assured it is really very far indeed!! Our first few days we explored the old town which is full of astounding colonial architecture being restored to its original beauty. The city is at about 2500 metres above sea level so some altitude adjustment is necessary - I´ve been walking aroung like a 97 year old 200 a day smoker with no lungs... quite hard to breathe at this height until one gets used to it. Our first impressions of Quito is nothing but good; the people are smiley and quite friendly. On our first excursion into the old town we browsed around the pristine squares where the locals all gather to chat and people watch... one funny thing struck us though, that no-one seems to smoke in the street except foreigners and a couple of people with obvious mental health issues - and no, I don´t include myself amongst those.

At the Plaza Grande, a stunning square with immaculate kept gardens flanked by an imposing government building - all columns, pomp and ceremony - on one side a white washed sparkling baroque church dominating and another we saw our first monk. Nothing surprising in a deeply Catholic country you may think, but this one was straight out of Robin Hood - pudding basin haircut, shaved pate and bare footed - he looked like a slim Friar Tuck. Later we made the arduous climb to the top of one of the surrounding hills where the Parque Itchimbia affords spectacular 360 degree views of the city - quite stunning.

On the down side , for us, we arrived in Ecuador just as the people were about to go to the polls, on the Sunday, to vote on a new Constitution. This had the dreadful consequence of being accompanied by a Presidential ban on the sale of alcohol until the day after the polls closed!!! So a couple of dry days were had! ( The Constitution received a big yes vote and the leftist President Rafael Correa can now proceed with his socialist leaning policies! Viva la revolucion!!!)