Ho Chi Minh City = Exhausting

Some cities you encounter and for some reason you want to grab it by the buttocks, slap it about a bit and ravish it til totally satiated; some you simply instantly fall in love with and spend many happy years caressing and romancing each other; and some you just use for a quickie because your there, and got nothing better to do, but even though you swap numbers in the morning you just know that you'll never ring each other again: so it is with Ho Chi Minh City.

I'm not quite sure why me and Uncle Ho's dedicated city didn't quite gel - it wasn't the legendary chaotic traffic - because even though at first glance it seems that the Vietnam Communist Party outsourced traffic regulations to a bunch of anarchists - " there are no rules just do what you like man" - and the constant flow of motorcycles seem to follow no logic - stopping at some lights while blissfully tootling through others, going the wrong way up one way streets, taking short cuts along the pavement when no gap is forthcoming - once you have a chance to observe it properly it all works extremely well albeit in a slightly epilectic dyfunctional fashion - one just has to be in the know - constant slow speeds - whether riding or walking - gives everyone a chance to get out the way.

Neither was it that HCMC is not a particularly attractive place, I've been to plenty of ugly looking places and had a wail of a time. Nor was it anything to do with the fact that after only two hour of arriving in the city sitting having a drink along a road side bar, that Ad after ten minutes of nonchalantly stroking a cute pussy cat under his chair realised that it wasn't a cat at all but a fucking great rat!! The city could definitely do with a visit from that Pied Piper geezer, but they ain't really bothering anyone and playing spot how many rats you can see in five minutes certainly passes the time.

We had some good food, especially at one reataurant thats specailly set up to give street kids, orphans and underprivileged poor kids a chance of learning a trade – either in the kitchens or front of house – that they can then go on to use in the hotel or food industries.

But even so me and this Ho just didn't quite see eye to eye – not that it matters because I'm sure I gave her the wrong phone number anyway.